There are only two customers in front of me this afternoon. One of them is a personal trainer type. You can always tell by the bald head and the fancy sneakers. And the t-shirt that says ‘trainer’ on it. This particular gentleman even had a Jamba loyalty card.
Since its not so busy at this hour, I have time to really study the menu. And it…it is just too much. There’s too much stuff on there. The Jamba Juice menu as it stands today a RIOT of words and rubrics and product descriptions and flavors and calorie information and promotional deals and fonts. Unless you have a regular smoothie you always get, you are guaranteed to spend a solid 3-4 minutes taking in all this in order to having the slightest hope of making an informed and deliciously refreshing decision. The staff while unfailingly polite are not particularly fluent in the Jamba Juice vocabulary either i.e. ‘Hi. Can you tell me what’s in a Razzmatazz?’ “Um…not…sure let me ask a manager.”
I’ve fallen prey to the post-lunch but not quite quitting-time doldrums and am definitely in the mood for a pick me up. I notice an item under the ‘Creamy Treats’ section of the menu called ‘Matcha Green Tea Blast’. I notice specifically that this item promises an avalance of antioxidants and more a-propos, 75mg of straight caffeine! (a can of RedBull has 80mg). This is perfect. I might just levitate back to my office after that. While waiting for my order I notice a prominent display of MightyLeaf brand tea products available for purchase.
Get my order, take a sip and as I walk out, fully expecting to be blasting off any moment, I quickly realize I am not terribly pleased with the flavor profile. It’s the soy milk. I am the picture of vexation.
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